Chatting with my friend Hazel Ajuamiwe about the issue of baby factories in Nigeria led us into a difficult but necessary conversation why are more people not talking about this? And how far are women pressured, pushed, and sometimes manipulated in the desperate pursuit of motherhood?
“This is why so much has gone unnoticed in a place like Nigeria. People are bullied into silence.”
That statement is heavy. And painfully familiar.
Across many communities, silence is not always peace. Sometimes it is fear. Sometimes it is survival. And sometimes, it is the result of being repeatedly told: “Don’t talk.”
At Just4WomenAfrica, we believe silence should be a choice not a condition forced by intimidation.
The Culture of “Keep Quiet”
In many Nigerian homes and institutions, there are unspoken rules:
- “Respect elders don’t question them.”
- “What happens in this house stays here.”
- “Don’t bring shame.”
- “Endure it.”
- “This is how it has always been.”
While respect and discretion are valuable cultural principles, they can also be weaponized. When used to suppress truth, they become tools of control.
And when people are bullied into silence, abuse thrives in the dark.
Where Bullying into Silence Happens
1. In Families
Women and girls are often told to tolerate harmful behavior to “protect the family name.” Emotional abuse, domestic violence, and financial control are minimized to avoid embarrassment.
2. In Workplaces
Women who speak up about harassment or unfair treatment are labeled “difficult,” “disrespectful,” or “ungrateful.” Many stay quiet to protect their jobs.
3. In Religious and Community Spaces
Spiritual authority can sometimes be misused. Questioning leadership may be seen as rebellion rather than accountability.
4. Online
When women share their experiences, they may face trolling, threats, and character attacks designed to intimidate them into retreat.
Silence becomes a defense mechanism.
The Cost of Forced Silence
When people are bullied into silence:
- Abuse continues unchecked.
- Systems avoid accountability.
- Trauma multiplies.
- Future victims remain unprotected.
Silence doesn’t protect communities it protects misconduct.
And for women, especially, silence can mean carrying emotional burdens alone for years.
Why Nigeria Struggles with Accountability
Nigeria is rich in culture, resilience, and strength. But like many societies, it also struggles with:
- Power hierarchies that discourage questioning
- Deep respect-based structures that sometimes silence victims
- Fear of social backlash
- Weak institutional responses to complaints
When speaking up feels riskier than staying quiet, most people choose safety.
The problem is not that Nigerians don’t care.
The problem is that many fear the consequences of caring out loud.
The Gendered Impact
Women face a unique layer of pressure:
- “Who will marry you if you talk like this?”
- “You are overreacting.”
- “You want attention.”
- “Be patient.”
This conditioning starts early. Girls learn to shrink themselves to avoid being labeled troublesome.
Over time, silence becomes normalized.
Breaking the Cycle
Ending a culture of forced silence requires courage but also systems.
1. Safe Reporting Channels
Institutions must create confidential, trusted spaces where complaints are handled seriously.
2. Community Education
Respect should not mean tolerating abuse. Culture must evolve to protect dignity.
3. Accountability Without Witch-Hunts
Justice must be fair and evidence-based, but it must also be accessible.
4. Support Networks for Women
When one woman speaks, she should not stand alone.
Silence Is Not Strength
For too long, endurance has been praised as virtue.
But endurance without justice breeds generational trauma.
Speaking up is not disrespect.
Demanding accountability is not rebellion.
Seeking justice is not bringing shame.
It is demanding dignity.
Final Thoughts
Nigeria is not defined by silence. It is defined by resilience.
But resilience should not require swallowing pain.
At Just4WomenAfrica, we believe that when women are safe to speak, societies become safer to live in.
The goal is not noise.
The goal is truth without fear.
Because when people are bullied into silence, injustice grows quietly.
And quiet injustice is still injustice.
