Hazel Ajuamiwe popularly known as Elsa Cookie is an online English tutor, author, and Nigerian woman whose life story is marked by resilience, loss, and unwavering courage.
In this deeply moving interview with Just4WomenAfrica, Hazel shares her journey through unplanned pregnancy, forced separation from her child, institutional trauma, and the long road to healing all while choosing hope over bitterness.
A Relationship That Changed Everything
Hazel met her son’s father in 2009 while both were students in a higher institution. Their paths crossed daily as they used the same route to school she a morning student, he an evening student. What started as friendly greetings slowly grew into a relationship.
By mid-2009, Hazel discovered she was pregnant.
Breaking the News and Being Broken by It
Returning home in October 2009, Hazel struggled with how to tell her parents. Her mother was abroad at the time, so she confided first in her brother who reacted with anger and disappointment.
When her mother returned, the news was eventually shared with her father. The response was devastating.
Hazel’s parents, missionaries, viewed the pregnancy as a stain on their ministry and reputation. Hurtful words followed about shame, disgrace, and public perception. Soon after, Hazel was told she could no longer stay at home.
She was sent from Jos to Badagry to live with a family friend.
From Isolation to Abuse
Life in Badagry quickly became unbearable. Hazel recounts being starved, locked out of the house, and emotionally mistreated. When she reported this to her parents, she was moved again this time to a Catholic convent for pregnant girls.
What Hazel didn’t know was that a decision had already been made about her baby.
“We’re Giving the Baby Up for Adoption”
At the convent registration desk, Hazel was asked what would happen to her baby. She answered instinctively:
“I’m keeping my baby.”
In the same moment, her mother said:
“We’re giving the baby up for adoption.”
It was the first time Hazel heard of this plan.
Despite her protests, she was left at the convent, where pregnant girls were subjected to harsh living conditions, forced labor, and what Hazel describes as punishment disguised as penance.
Choosing to Fight Back
While at the convent, Hazel learned disturbing stories from other girls about adoption processes. Confused and afraid, she asked for permission to make a phone call and reached her baby’s father.
His response was firm:
“If you give my baby up for adoption, I will never forgive you.”
With no support and no freedom, Hazel decided to escape.
She confided in the convent driver—someone who spoke her language and understood her fear. He agreed to help her run away. But before the plan could succeed, she was confronted by the Reverend Sister in charge.
Hazel broke down and spoke her truth:
“I can’t give my baby up for adoption. Whatever it takes, I want to keep my child.”
That moment changed everything.
Birth, Separation, and a Different Kind of Adoption
Hazel went into labor on April 15, 2010 her birthday and gave birth in the early hours of April 16.
Two weeks later, her son’s father came with his mother to take the baby. Unknown to Hazel at the time, he was made to sign adoption papers adopting his own child.
That night, Hazel heard her baby cry endlessly from another room.
“I could hear his cries the whole night. He wouldn’t stop crying.”
The next morning, her son was taken to Lagos. That same day, Hazel’s mother arrived and took her back to Jos.
Living With the Aftermath
The emotional aftermath was severe. Hazel suffered nightmares, insomnia, and deep grief.
“Anytime I closed my eyes, I saw that place. I heard his cries.”
For years, she couldn’t emotionally connect with babies. Seeing mothers with their children triggered intense pain. Every birthday hers and her son’s became a reminder of loss.
Hazel last saw her son when he was five. He is now almost sixteen. They spoke briefly on the phone last year, but he has not yet been told the full truth.
No Apologies, No Closure
Hazel’s father passed away in October 2024 without apologizing. Her mother and brother have also never expressed remorse.
“My brother still thinks I’m wrong. Yet when he had a child out of wedlock, nothing happened.”
The double standard remains a deep wound.
What Survival Has Taught Her
Despite everything, Hazel refuses to see herself as broken.
“There’s no situation so great that you cannot overcome.”
Today, she describes herself as mentally, emotionally, and financially stable. She is raising her daughter with intention determined that her child will grow up seeing a mother who speaks up, stands firm, and refuses to be silenced.
“If I don’t stand up for myself, I can’t stand up for my daughter.”
A Story That Needed to Be Told
Hazel Ajuamiwe’s story is not just about loss it is about agency, resilience, and reclaiming one’s voice in a society that often punishes women for surviving.
Her hope remains simple and powerful:
“I will see my son again one day.”
And until that day comes, Hazel continues to live boldly choosing healing over bitterness, courage over silence, and love over fear.
