As African mothers, many of us grew up in homes where meals were not up for negotiation. Whatever was served was what everyone ate. But as we raise our own children, a shift is happening. More parents are starting to ask their children what they want to eat. This change may seem simple, but it raises an important question – is it beneficial to let kids have a say in meal choices?
The Benefits of Involving Children in Meal Decisions
- Encourages Healthy Eating Habits
When children are part of the decision-making process, they are more likely to eat what’s on their plate. By offering healthy options, parents can subtly steer their children towards better food choices. For instance, asking, “Would you like jollof rice or yam porridge for dinner?” allows the child to pick between two nutritious options without feeling forced. - Fosters Independence and Confidence
Decision-making is a life skill, and allowing children to make small choices about their meals builds confidence. It teaches them responsibility, makes them feel heard, and empowers them to understand the importance of food and nutrition. - Reduces Mealtime Struggles
How many times have you battled with your child to eat their vegetables? Involving them in choosing what goes on their plate can reduce these power struggles. When children feel involved, they are more likely to finish their meals without complaints.
How to Approach It
While the idea of giving children meal options is great, there needs to be a balance. Here are a few practical tips to keep things in check:
- Offer Limited Choices
Instead of asking broad questions like, “What do you want for lunch?” give two or three options. This avoids overwhelming the child and keeps you in control.
Example: “Would you prefer plantain and beans or eba and okra soup?” - Involve Them in Cooking
Letting children help in the kitchen creates excitement around meals. They feel proud of the food they helped prepare and are more likely to eat it. Simple tasks like washing vegetables, stirring stew, or seasoning meat can make a big difference. - Set Boundaries
It’s important to remember that while children can have input, parents still need to guide them. Not every request should be granted, especially if it leans toward sweets or junk food.
When Not to Ask
There are moments when asking isn’t practical or beneficial:
- Too Frequently – Constantly asking can lead to picky eating habits or a refusal to eat anything except their favorite meals.
- In Large Families – When cooking for a big family, making separate meals for each child isn’t sustainable. In such cases, one healthy meal for everyone is best.
- Time Constraints – Some days are too busy to entertain food debates. On those days, serve what’s available and explain to the child why their choice isn’t possible at the moment.
Balancing Culture and Modern Parenting
As African parents, it’s essential to balance modern parenting techniques with cultural values. Our traditional meals are rich, healthy, and diverse. Teaching children to appreciate these foods while giving them a voice can create a balanced and harmonious mealtime experience.
In Conclusion
Asking children what they want to eat can be beneficial, but the key lies in structure and guidance. By offering healthy options and involving children in the process, parents can nurture healthy eating habits, encourage independence, and make mealtime enjoyable for everyone.
So, the next time you’re in the kitchen, try involving your child in the decision – but remember, the final call is still yours.
